Change is difficult. It's a leap into the unknown that we are forced to make. Even so, it is necessary for us to not get trapped in our own stagnation. Let me Explain...
The Chaos Of Change
When people say they fear change, they don't refer to minor things like changing homes, or showering in the morning rather than night, or going on a diet, they fear something much greater.
I too feared this force.
We love having order in our lives. A schedule, a daily routine, or maybe just a repeatable pattern you can fall back on. We all have beliefs that we've stuck to our entire lives. Our families have been with most of us for our entire lives. When that order gets broken, chaos ensues. Your home gets burnt down and you lose all your possessions. Maybe you lose a family member. These are extreme examples of chaos, and they are the more rare examples. But for most of us, chaos seeps Into our lives bit by bit, day by day.
The Cost of Lies
You could ignore the tiny bits of chaos such as arguing with your mother over religious matters or the lack of tone in a text message causing a fight between you and a friend. These tiny things make us feel bad. They put a knot in our chest. We can ignore these nots and keep on moving without trying to get to their cause and untangling them. But they'll always stick with you, especially at times where you cannot distract yourselves from them, like in the shower or in the bed late at night. The thought of them makes you cringe or they make you break down into tears.
Whether the knot is big or not, if you ignore them, more and more knots will tangle up inside you, making it more and more difficult to unravel and be free of them. We put many constraints on ourselves. We force these knots onto ourselves because we don't believe we deserve better. We know our flaws, our weak points, and our vulnerabilities in such detail that the person we are most likely to hate out of anyone is ourselves. Many people go a step further and cast that hate for themselves onto the world.
The Cost of The Truth
Unraveling these knots change us and change who we are.
If we accept that our father has died, then it's as if he had never lived before at all. This is what we believe. We desire the order we had, and in doing so, lose the order that could be. While you unravel the knots and accept changing and adapting to a new type of order, then you're already a step closer to being free from your own hatred. In a previous post I talked about what a WHY truly means. What it means to have a dream and a passion. I described how deep and imbedded it is within you as the core for your entire life. In reality, it's the simplest idea in the world. Everyone has a why, or rather, had a why. A why comes about naturally as curiosity increases. So often, we form WHY's as children without even knowing it, then we stick with it. This one thing is so core to our being and consciousness that if given up, is one of the biggest measures of chaos that can ensue. If this core is challenged, if our very being is challenged, we break our fingers trying to hold on to it. The only way to unravel that knot is to realize that your core Being can change. The reason you live can change. In fact, I change it every year. It's not something I schedule, it's simply something I realize. As you grow, as you learn more, and as your curiosity expands, your previous why becomes hollow. You change bit by bit, and if your reason for living does not adapt to who you really are, if you cling on to a dream that your younger self had, then you are letting the past control you. Not just that, your reason for Being is being controlled by a completely different person. You need to revise your why and your standards for what order is. If you don't, what used to be order, will become chaos.
Order Becomes Chaos
There are millions of examples of this. Far back in human culture, rape was common practice. That was the standard for order. But we change, we learn, and we want to learn more. And so, what used to be order, is now chaos. If we had not changed our laws and beliefs to fit our knowledge, curiosity, and Being, our world would have no order. You are allowed to leave your past self behind. In fact, be happy to leave them behind. What you were is your deepest manifestation of chaos. Change, and accept change. Move forward and don't get dragged backward. Start unraveling the knots, then you'll be free of your past self. Please comment down below if you want to share some of your own ideas or to even challenge mine. I'd love to have a discussion.